complicated affair

i never meant for this to happen. i never planned to let things get this far. when i entered this affair, i knew where my place was. i had kept my emotions at bay lest i forget reality. it was a game i'm supposed to know how to play. but ever since i started spending more time with him, i find myself losing control.. and so is he.

he broke our silent, mutual agreement. he opened the dam of emotions that's been building inside us that we had no choice but to let it go. everyday, he tells me he misses me when i'm away. everyday, he tells me how much he's wishing i was with him, beside him. everyday, he would go out of his way to show me how much he cares about me. when he holds my hand, i feel that he doesn't want to let me go. when he looks at me, it is with so much longing that it makes me want to forget all else just to be with him.

but i haven't forgotten.. no.. everyday, i am reminded by the ring on his finger that he has a family. everyday, i am reminded by the stories he shares about his children. and everyday, whenever we kiss each other goodbye, i am reminded that he will never be mine.