when i was 15 years old, i had wanted to get married at the age of 18. i wanted to have kids so i could grow up with them and be more of a "buddy" than a parent. when i turned 18 years old, i realized that i was only beginning to enjoy my adult life, being in college and all. i decided that marriage can wait for a few more years.
when i turned 24 years old, i felt that i had already gone through everything a woman my age could ever go through. i felt i was ready for marriage and practically asked my boyfriend of one year to marry me. he said no, gave me 10 reasons why he felt we weren't ready yet. i debated with him, gave him one reason why i thought we should - i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. but that didn't change his mind. so i was forced to wait when he would tell me we were ready.
and then i turned 28. i was still with the same guy i had asked to marry 4 years earlier. i was still waiting, hoping, praying that he would finally ask ME the question. we were making plans, discussing issues we had that we wanted to resolve first before making the big plunge. but we were not able to come up with a resolution, and no proposal came either. the waiting took its toll on me that i decided to leave him. i wanted to find out for myself if i had other options besides him. after a few months, and a failed "relationship" with another guy, i eventually sought him out again and asked for a reconciliation. he obliged and promised me we'd get married soon. i waited and held on to that promise.. but it still never came. so for the second time that year, we went our separate ways. i wanted him to realize if he really wanted me in his life.
at the age of 29, i was getting frustrated. a few months of separation from him gave me no comfort. i still wanted to be with him. so, we got back together. this time, he held my face and sincerely proclaimed that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me too, and that if i was willing to wait a little more, our dream will finally come true. he asked that i give him time to sort things out. he just got "promoted", so that entailed additional work. he again promised me a marriage soon.
and now, i am 30 years old, still unmarried, still waiting. i am still holding on to that promise but i am beginning to wonder if i am really meant to be a wife? i have a restless soul, constantly searching for something to quench the thirst. there are times when i'll look at him and feel that he is the only one i want to be with. but then again, there are times when i find myself longing to be with someone else.
could it be that i am destined to be single all my life? maybe i should give up the idea of settling. or maybe, i just haven't met the right man to spend eternity with...
when i turned 24 years old, i felt that i had already gone through everything a woman my age could ever go through. i felt i was ready for marriage and practically asked my boyfriend of one year to marry me. he said no, gave me 10 reasons why he felt we weren't ready yet. i debated with him, gave him one reason why i thought we should - i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. but that didn't change his mind. so i was forced to wait when he would tell me we were ready.
and then i turned 28. i was still with the same guy i had asked to marry 4 years earlier. i was still waiting, hoping, praying that he would finally ask ME the question. we were making plans, discussing issues we had that we wanted to resolve first before making the big plunge. but we were not able to come up with a resolution, and no proposal came either. the waiting took its toll on me that i decided to leave him. i wanted to find out for myself if i had other options besides him. after a few months, and a failed "relationship" with another guy, i eventually sought him out again and asked for a reconciliation. he obliged and promised me we'd get married soon. i waited and held on to that promise.. but it still never came. so for the second time that year, we went our separate ways. i wanted him to realize if he really wanted me in his life.
at the age of 29, i was getting frustrated. a few months of separation from him gave me no comfort. i still wanted to be with him. so, we got back together. this time, he held my face and sincerely proclaimed that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me too, and that if i was willing to wait a little more, our dream will finally come true. he asked that i give him time to sort things out. he just got "promoted", so that entailed additional work. he again promised me a marriage soon.
and now, i am 30 years old, still unmarried, still waiting. i am still holding on to that promise but i am beginning to wonder if i am really meant to be a wife? i have a restless soul, constantly searching for something to quench the thirst. there are times when i'll look at him and feel that he is the only one i want to be with. but then again, there are times when i find myself longing to be with someone else.
could it be that i am destined to be single all my life? maybe i should give up the idea of settling. or maybe, i just haven't met the right man to spend eternity with...
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