he went offline without telling me, so i assumed he'll be going on a client-call or something. a few minutes later, i heard a car door slammed. when i looked outside, it was him - my engineer..
for some strange reason, my hands suddenly went cold, my heart started beating faster than normal and i had to stop myself from calling his name. i counted to 20 - no, 30 - before i decided to go down with a toothbrush on my hand as props. and when i saw him, i smiled a little. i feigned nonchalance so as not to make my excitement obvious. i was waiting - anticipating, for that secret look he'd give me whenever we are within range. he talked to me a little, making nonsensical remarks that i almost told him to quit trying to making it casual for both of us. and just when i was about to give up on him, he came to me - pretended to borrow something, and then touched me. i again felt the electricity between us.. i felt the heat, the wanting.. i suddenly remembered the reckless abandon of our first time, and it felt good to know that he still wants me. to know that he sometimes imagine me when he is with his wife delights me (he admitted that much during one of our conversations). to hear him say that it was his first time to experience what i did to him before strokes my ego (well, he may be lying, but i don't really care). and to feel the effect on him of my mere presence excites me. no, i do not boast of being talented when it comes to bed calisthenics. i am only a generous lover and knows how to boost a man's ego.
wait.. before anyone can come up with any conclusion, let it be clear that i do not love him. love is too strong a word to describe what i feel for him. maybe it's just the idea of someone else wanting me, that i am not yesterday's menu or something. that at the age of 30, i can actually make a man cheat on his wife (i know, it's not nice.. respects, respects) and make him come back for more. i daresay that this is not love.
but if anyone knows what this is called, then please tell me how to end it before it's too late.
for some strange reason, my hands suddenly went cold, my heart started beating faster than normal and i had to stop myself from calling his name. i counted to 20 - no, 30 - before i decided to go down with a toothbrush on my hand as props. and when i saw him, i smiled a little. i feigned nonchalance so as not to make my excitement obvious. i was waiting - anticipating, for that secret look he'd give me whenever we are within range. he talked to me a little, making nonsensical remarks that i almost told him to quit trying to making it casual for both of us. and just when i was about to give up on him, he came to me - pretended to borrow something, and then touched me. i again felt the electricity between us.. i felt the heat, the wanting.. i suddenly remembered the reckless abandon of our first time, and it felt good to know that he still wants me. to know that he sometimes imagine me when he is with his wife delights me (he admitted that much during one of our conversations). to hear him say that it was his first time to experience what i did to him before strokes my ego (well, he may be lying, but i don't really care). and to feel the effect on him of my mere presence excites me. no, i do not boast of being talented when it comes to bed calisthenics. i am only a generous lover and knows how to boost a man's ego.
wait.. before anyone can come up with any conclusion, let it be clear that i do not love him. love is too strong a word to describe what i feel for him. maybe it's just the idea of someone else wanting me, that i am not yesterday's menu or something. that at the age of 30, i can actually make a man cheat on his wife (i know, it's not nice.. respects, respects) and make him come back for more. i daresay that this is not love.
but if anyone knows what this is called, then please tell me how to end it before it's too late.
1 comment:
I will not give advice nor judge because I have done things like this before and will probably do it again if the opportunity arises. I must say that I'm jealous, though. Being with somebody, even somebody who isn't yours, is better than being with nobody. Of course, not many people will agree with me on this, but that's just me.
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